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Juggling you - self care

Do you wonder about juggling you? Do you think “when will I have enough time”? Does your to-do-list feel a little/a lot/just plain crazy?

During periods of time in your life juggling time so you can find care for yourself can be elusive.

Some of you may be married and that becomes part of the juggle. Others of you have a terrific leisure life and that becomes part of the juggle. And for others it is the community expectations and kids wants & needs.

Yep many of us can tick off all of those and think..golly there it is in a nutshell…juggling and me…well actually it is just juggling.

Our last blog talked about knowing yourself, your distractions, your type and team.  This blog is just for you and it comes as a story.

Now I am not a great story writer. I am a little more skilled with the talking part. But nevertheless I want to tell you a story. It is a story of juggling and self-care.  I hope you will find it useful rather than just another dose of “suck eggs”.

My juggling story

I took myself away last weekend. I went to a place with people I love and who help me be open and vulnerable.

The opening up element I find ok. On the other hand, the vulnerable part I can find challenging. But when I connected with the people that I shared this weekend with I was able to step into vulnerability.

This probably has something to do with safety. 

So, over the weekend this is what I found out.

Learning 1 - Away 

By taking the time away from the day-to-day I discovered more about myself.
I unearthed a more practical side of my nature and I found out some more about my responses to others.

Some of those are trivial and some immensely valuable.

Learning 2 - Vulnerability

For instance, I can knit squares for refugee bedspreads while I am talking about loss and grief. And in doing this for the first time I didn’t cry.

I found out that when the conversation got a bit heavy and intense I feel the vulnerability rise and so I project and assume others are feeling the same and I lighten the mood.

So a personal learning is to take something to do with my hands when deep conversations might happen. And next time don’t lighten the mood; leave that to another and go into that place that I sometimes avoid.

What about you?

When was the last time you paused long enough to get to those places of self-knowing? And why is that important?

I can’t help you with the answers to those two questions. But I do know how valuable it was for the 18 other people I was with. It was really valuable.

Learning 3 - Distractions

Something else I found was the importance of distraction. You might think I am contradicting myself. But I don’t think I am.

Last blog we talked about juggling in a more practical functional way. So when I am talking about distraction that means suspension/pause/off-button.

Last weekend, like similar weekends I have attended, helped me suspend my life for 56 hours.

Yes there are others who attended this retreat who wanted action at the end. But for me the distraction, the suspension allowed me to be with others. And hear their words, understand their drive and direction.

Through the suspension of my day-to-day I was able to be more present. I was able to access more appropriate responses.

And the true loveliness was that none of others stuff had to become part of my juggling. At the same time it did add understanding to the items I am juggling.

Being in distraction (perhaps suspension is a better word) to ensure you can be more present allows you bring your whole self to a conversation.

The importance of these three learnings

When did you last allow distraction to happen in a way that assisted you to see the things you are juggling more clearly? What can you do to give yourself space to hear and respond in a way that assists you with your own juggling?

The importance of these three learnings for self-care provides more clarity which in turn may assist in forward momentum.

Away

Getting away is vital. Into a beautiful environment helps too.

Vulnerability

Go there. It is part of the understanding of self-care and creating a safe space allows this to happen.

Distractions

Distractions can bring new knowledge in and will assist with juggling more effectively.

Finally…

Take time. Always take time to pause. Fit the pause in. Put the balls down. Just put them down. You may be frightened that you will then want to pack them away for good, but take the self-care pause. I am so glad I did.

If you would like come and pause with me next time, drop me a line and I’ll be in touch, jill@affectusaus.com.au.

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