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Being practical about challenges and change

We have had a few people asking

Can you be more practical about challenges and change?

and

What else happens with change?

So, here are our thoughts about the first three phases.

When you review the change process it is important to remember that these phases don’t just happen. We move through the phases as we become aware. And we make decisions regarding our responses to the challenge we are facing.

The important message I would like to share is pertinent for those who are about to embark on a leadership learning experience.

Perhaps you are a participant commencing one of our 2019 leadership experiences. This will help you maximise your first moments or days of the experience. I know I can sometimes spin-off into the stratosphere with my ideas but to assist with clarity of my messages I am, once again, going to try to talk about my experiences and what I have observed.

At Affectus, we have found that the first three phases are often the most challenging so I have focused today's thinking there.

1.     Moving on from Immobilisation

When you are frozen the first action to assist you and others to move on is to re-affirm that individuals are safe.

Recently I had a conversation with one of our graduates. The revelation from that conversation was that Affectus facilitators often ask participants to be fearless and have a go. This is not unlike the challenges that can face us in our day-to-day.

The graduate told me of the repeated sense of immobilisation when Affectus asked participants to take action. During these experiences, the participant developed an ability to move from the frozen moment to action. They stated that

this is because a safe space had been created.

Your leadership action

Create the safe space for yourself through examining your concerns and acknowledging that you will be ok. Make sure you are building safe spaces to counter the immobilisation.

2. Denial

We have been asked

How do you recognise denial and move to the next phase?

Our observation is that this isn’t so easy. Why? Because it clearly involves honesty and self-awareness. Honesty that you want to bury your head in the sand. And awareness that you are indeed doing just that.

Patrick Lencioni talks about trust as the key element in assisting teams in raising their productivity. Brene Brown has explored the leadership concept of vulnerability. Both of these are essential to move beyond denial. Trust that you are needing to face this challenge and will be ok.

However, from my experience, it is most valuable to have someone in my team who can call it. Someone who will bravely ask

why are you not getting on with the job?

This is code for you are being an ostrich.

I recently had one of the Affectus team do just that. You should have heard the accountability (NOT) come out of my mouth. However, through the “call it” conversation it became clear that I had my head firmly in the sand. And it was gritty and uncomfortable, and the sand was getting in the way of my ability to be able to see my way out. It was so useful to have someone trust our relationship enough to call it out.

Your leadership action

Find someone who will call it when they see you are stuck in denial.

3. Incompetence

I have someone in my network who is terrific at understanding the constant need to move people out of that space of “yep I have to change but I don’t have knowledge or skills”. In other words, assisting people to move beyond the incompetence phase.

I have observed my colleague over the years. Sometimes she jumps the gun to offer skilling up/knowledge sharing before those around her even know they are feeling incompetent. And occasionally there is resistance. But through working with her over the years I now know the questions that assist me to identify what I can do to move on from incompetence.

The first question is (and I use it often)

Do I need to do anything?

Well to be completely honest sometimes it is someone else’s role. But I know that there is always something I can or need to do. And that is not to resist and to embrace the change upon us/me/the team.

If I do need to take action the questions I have found useful are:

  • What do I need to know?
    Sometimes this requires some thinking through. Identifying what don’t I know (sometimes easy to see sometimes not so easy) and then finding information. Researching and reading or talking and sharing ideas.
  • What skill do I need to develop?
    For me and my learning style, this requires talking and being shown and then being supervised and encouraged as I have a go. If it is a completely foreign skill sometimes I need quite a bit of time and many attempts.

Your leadership action

You will have a learning style. Find a way of learning new skills in a way that works for you.

Develop the expectation that you and your workplace welcomes and encourages the open exploration of knowledge building and skill enhancement.

Seven Phases of Change

The seven phases of change.

When you are facing challenges, knowing the seven phases of change will assist.

1. Immobilisation

When you are frozen, unable to respond to the challenge you are facing.

2. Denial

When you attempt to ignore the challenge you should face.

3. Incompetence

You need to acquire skills and/or knowledge to address the challenge.

4. Acceptance

You gain insight. This IS about me and I need to respond.

5. Testing

You build response strategies and actions.

6. Search for meaning

You personalise the challenge and establish new meaning.

7. Integration

Done! You have managed the challenge.

Are you ready to take on another?

Find new meaning and make sense of change. Join us!

Facing challenge and change

What happens to us when facing challenge and change.

With our amazing team of co-facilitators we “do” leadership with groups of people all over Australia. And I love it. Have I mentioned that before I wonder?

“Do” means long programs, short programs, day sessions. And, we also assist organisations to understand their value and ensure efficient teams.

We encourage and support change and assist in building confidence to take on challenges. When we “do” leadership we are constantly observing how people respond and act.

What is Affectus’ Philosophy?

Affectus’ philosophy commences with encouraging people to find and step into their leadership space. We also incorporate the knowledge that people all learn differently, our minds work and our perception are different.

Essentially, however, each of us tends to prefer one of the following ways of learning – visual, written, listening, doing ( the VARK model). Affectus ensures that these four preferences are woven into our learning events.

It is important to know Affectus’ philosophy because…

When we ask people to move into their leadership space we understand the above but we expect people to change.

We ask them to challenge their thinking and implement change…at that moment. And we encourage attendees to see the leadership space and step into it. We support and coach them as they do, But we ask them to move from their current position and find a new place to demonstrate leadership.

 Some questions about change and challenge to consider

What do you know about your responses to challenges? And to date, how have you have engaged with the change in your life? What do you know about yourself?

Affectus' 9 Stage Change Pathway.

During our strategic thinking workshop, we use a change model that I have developed. We help people understand their responses to change. When you are in your leadership space responding to change, it is valuable to understand where your greatest leadership impact can be.

7 Phases of Change

  1. Awareness
  2. Immobilisation
  3. Denial
  4. Acceptance
  5. Incompetence
  6. Application
  7. Confidence
  8. Meaning
  9. Mobilisation

The 3 pathway steps and what goes on in our brain

  • Immobilisation – our logical brain stops working and our more primitive (reptilian brain) pushes us to thinking about survival.
  • Denial – our logical brain regains some control over our response but our primitive brain is still saying “run-away this is scary”

From our observations, it is important to assist people during to breath (sometimes literally) and acknowledge the concern and confusion. And to also understand they can move beyond these first two phases and beyond the concern and confusion.

  • Incompetence – our brain feels scrambled (no better way to explain it). Often there is a feeling of I can’t really understand this change, I know it is happening but what is really going on. I don’t have the skills to deal with this.

In our experience, incompetence is where the greatest leadership impact occurs. For leaders to step away or hope something will happen is reneging on the position they have stepped into. It is here that leadership “rubber hits the road”.

What can you do when change is upon you and your team and the challenge is real?

What can you do when you are seeing the immobilisation and denial and you are hearing the words “I don’t know how to deal with this”? You assist people to feel confident and develop competency.

How do you assist people?

  • Talk with them about their ability to understand the challenge and respond positively to change.
  • Build their self-awareness of their own capacity to take on new concepts.
  • Reassure them that you are in this too and that a solution will be found.
  • Discuss how they could enhance their skills or knowledge to better embrace the challenge.

Think back to a previous article imagine if, when facing change and challenge, we also had a deep understanding that if we bring ourselves, all of our talent and knowledge and self-awareness, to a challenge how we could embrace it and respond.

Challenge and Change – You are enough

Challenge and Change – A personal account.

Sometimes I reread my blogs and think gosh that was pretty pointed. But today as I sat down and prepared my thinking for this blog I thought back to all of the times I have been challenged in my life. From getting the arc of the baseball perfect to reach from shortstop to first base to tag the hitter, through to dealing with an unpleasant complaint made against me when I hadn’t been completely professional.

As I thought back through my challenges I remember a particular day. I remember it being exciting, challenging, confronting and scary. I’m going to take you through that day and keep on the topic “challenge and change”.

Picture this.

A weekend retreat in the middle of the Victorian bush with a group of about 30 people. Arrival was a little fraught. We didn’t have mobile phone GPS assistance then. I arrived in the dark and instantly relaxed as I heard the enthusiastic conversations happening inside the barracks that the group would be inhabiting for the weekend.

Food and drinks were communal. BYO and share.

Conversations and activities were to happen in the lounge room and outside was a space for “whatever”.

One short bushwalk was planning for some time and we were anticipating breaking camp after lunch on the Sunday.

Rooms were sparse (and cold). And we shared with others. Some we knew. Others we knew of. And others were soon to become connections.

The purpose

The purpose of the weekend was not very tight. There were some activities/workshops available. You chose to go to what you wanted. There were robust conversations about various topics. You could engage if you were interested. Or you could sleep and wander as you wished or needed.

There were mandalas drawn, meditation and singing. And there were definitely many robust conversations.

All of this challenged me.

During the first morning, the lack of structure took me back to University days. Days where I spent much of my time finding a familiar face and following them to a lecture in the hope that it was part of my degree (I got better but golly I was bad during 1st year).

I felt vulnerable and insecure. What was I supposed to be doing? Wondering what was all of this about?

Food and drink were safe as I knew what I was supposed to be doing. That was university and day one of the retreat.

The ball of clay

Now some of you will have heard me talk about my ball of clay that I carved that illustrates my journey. I sculpted that “magnificent item” during this retreat.

There were many people attending the retreat that I admired and respected. A couple that I idolised. I was pretty desperate to impress them if I am honest.

Towards the end of the first day as I was participating in a robust conversation about power and emotions and the fear of showing our emotions in public. One of the other attendees (who I was desperate to impress) spoke, then paused (waiting for those of us around the table to stop talking) then spoke again.

She said

"You are enough."

I am sure this was in reaction to us all discussing our fear of being vulnerable in public. But I felt like my armour had been pierced. I felt extremely unsettled. What did that statement mean?

I fired questions…seeking reassurance.

  • Are you saying I am enough?
  • Enough what?
  • Am I enough in your eyes?
  • What does enough mean?
  • Can you help me measure that so I have a sense of what you mean?”

The response was calmly sent back to my ears.

"You are enough Jill"

As I struggled with the concept of “enough” that was swirling around me I heard my voices. Most/nearly everyone has them. I call them my generational voices. They were rebelling against this concept.

Really? By whose measure? I don’t think so.

These were the words running through my head as I looked across the room seeing friendly, caring faces smiling and confirming that I was enough.

You are enough

I took off. Had a wander amongst the magnificent towering eucalypts. I spent two hours walking, struggling and reconciling my sense of inadequacy.

But I returned having a deep sense of settled knowledge that “I was enough”. Yet, that didn’t mean I could sit back and take it easy. No.

The meaning I made of this statement was

Whatever I do if I bring my whole self to it, the thinking, the dreaming, the doing, then I am enough.

Why have I shared this personal story with you?

Because when I consider challenge and change and understand that sometimes my ideas might be pointy and hold expectations…

You are enough

Bring your whole self…you are enough.

Challenge and Change – Undoing fear

How do you tackle challenge and change?

Shonda Rhimes says that the very act of doing the thing that scared her undid her fear, doing it made it not scary for her.

What an interesting concept that is.

A number of years ago (actually many) I was friends with some of the SAS fellas (and it was only fellas back then). Their weekends comprised doing things together that would scare many of us – rigid.

They did all sorts of amazing and challenging stuff while I watched movies or slept. One of the SAS fellas, let’s call him Phil, was a good friend. He asked quietly, over my fourth drink on a Saturday night in a pub in Melbourne, whether my friend and I would like to go to Hanging Rock with him and a couple of mates. Now the movie Picnic at Hanging Rock (the original one – I’m not going to give you the year…you have to do that work) had only been out for 7 or so years. And although I had been to the Hanging Rock after the scary-as-hell movie release it still made me squirm a bit. Now, remember I was on my fourth drink.

“Yeah sure…are we just doing the picnicking thing?” I enquired.

Phil was pretty straight up sort of a bloke, “Nah, we are going to do some abseiling down the longest straight drop.”

In my head, I instantly thought of some of the surfie chicks I had watched during my summer holidays. They had been sitting on the cliffs watching their boyfriends having all the fun (not that any of them were my boyfriend). But before I could raise this issue Phil added, “Have you and Jenny ever done that before? We could teach you, we are all pretty experienced and have all our certificates”.

Well, the short story is we did. And we did including running face forward down the longest drop. It was so cool I don’t think I came down from the high for days!

Had it been the cheap wine (I was a uni student at the time) that had given me the courage? Or was it the confidence I had in my friend Phil?

Was it the public status he and his gang of friends had? Or was I just at that age that yes came easier?

Do I consider that, actually, was I ridiculously risky in my behaviour?

Some would say yes to that question, I do come from a family of varying risk profiles.

What happens when we take on a challenge

What happens when we take on a challenge? And how should we frame those challenges so that they don’t scare us away.?

What is the link between challenge and leadership and change?

Let’s consider those concepts bit by bit.

What happens inside when we take on challenges and succeed?

There are two general responses when we see a challenge ahead or know that we need to take a risk. This is my experience of observing hundreds of clients approach the challenges we provide for them.

These responses are:

  • Jump in feet first or
  • Yeah-Nah.

Now neither of these are the “correct” response they are just different. And of course ,there is plenty of greyness in between the two responses.

Some questions to consider

What do you know about your responses to challenges?

And to date, how have you have engaged with the challenges in your life?

What do you know about yourself now that you have had a look back?

What happens in your brain

Delving further into this first question there is a link between the grey matter we have in our brains and our responses to challenges. And there is also a link to dopamine.

But our responses happen in our brain…so what happens in your brain?

What have you learned about taking on challenges and succeeding or being unable to complete them?

When we are involved in a leadership role understanding how we respond to challenges is important. And, let’s face it, we know many people in leadership roles who resist challenges and risk.

Is that a problem? I don’t think so as long as they are aware of their responses.

Going back to the abseiling. What did I learn about challenges and me?

Here they are. I

  • was doing this activity with people I trusted so I would be OK
  • had confidence in my body and my strength
  • knew that I would be stretched, but I also knew I had a thoughtful brain that would help me out in a pickle
  • am competitive and so I wasn’t going to be the one not participating (not particularly helpful but definitely an interesting driver)
  • am courageous but I don’t like embarrassing myself…interesting combination when you think through challenges.

Challenges and change

Now onto challenges and change. Can you see the link?

There is no doubt in my mind that challenges require us to change what we are thinking or doing. Otherwise there would be no change happening around us.

Perhaps that is a bit simplistic. But they are connected.

When considering leadership we choose to step into our leadership space when we see that change needs to happen and that can be challenging.

Finally, I would encourage you to have a read of some of the links we have gathered for you about risk and challenge.

And please be encouraged to take on the challenge when you are working with us this year. You will see the benefit and you will be supported by the teams we will build around you.

"To lead an authentic life, we need to take on new challenges that stretch us and give us more opportunities to be ourselves." - Stephen Joseph

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